For a city (LA) that is constantly in shortage of water, installing automatically flushing toilets is a brilliant idea. It flushes before you sit, flushes after you stand up, then flushes again as you’re
leaving the stall. Who was the genius that thought of that? I mean, because people just don’t know how to wash their hands. And of course, there are no germs on the handles of the doors. They are, natually, completely sterile and pristine. You know what you should also install? Invisible, intangible handrails that you can’t actually grasp on the subway, cuz that would prevent germs as well. You’re so smart.
You know what’s also smart? People who aren’t competent enough to tell you the right DAY you’re flying out of a city. Thank you, American Airlines and Delta Airlines for making my overextended stay in Los Angeles much longer than it needed to be and giving me *gasp* mileage for my troubles and my friends’ cuz that completely compensates for your incompetency and bureacratic mumbo jumbo. You are so fucking generous. You even saved me from spending time with my friends who are currently in New York cuz I certainly have better things to do, like sleeping on the floor of your terminal cuz you wouldn’t let me into your lounge without paying the $50 day pass. Yea, I know. It’s company policy. Pat on the head for you for sticking to the rules, you good little automaton. I mean, who cares about brains and your own judgment when there are these wonderful things called policies. Convenient little buggers, aren’t they? Especially when you want to turn a blind eye.
And THANK YOU Delta for assigning me to a middle seat even as you’re assigning aisles to other people. I’m looking forward to giving strangers a lap dance every time I need to pee or get to my computer.
And thanks also for putting me in a shitty mood for 48 hours cuz that’s just so fucking productive.
*Edited 3/16/10 for formatting, not content. Content all the same.